Why Ticketmaster should burn in hell

Now, don't get me wrong: I've ALWAYS despised the evil that is Ticketmaster, but I've always seemed to cough up big time cash to score some tickets. LAST NIGHT WAS THE LAST STRAW!!

I love the New Pornographers. Their new CD (and all their CDs, for that matter) is super good. Needless to say, when I heard they are coming to Portland (September 25, for those interested), I couldn't wait to get tickets. The tickets are $15, and when my Partner in Concert Fun when to pick them up at a local Ticketmaster outlet, he was shocked when the woman told him the total for TWO tickets was $82.00 (each ticket costing $35). The women went on the say that $20 tickets were available (when they are $15 online - all these tickets are general admission, by the by). Blech. So, I went online to purchase two $15 dollar tickets. End cost: $45.62. Two tickets for the price of three!!! Oh, and I HAD to pay $2.50 for their e-mail delivery option (I couldn't even have them mailed to me for free).

From now on, I'm only going to see shows in places that have a box office. DIE TICKETMASTER DIE!!!

Dying to Belong

YES!!!! I just recieved an early birthday present from Tori. What's the present, you ask? Why, it's DYING TO BELONG, quite possibly the best Lifetime (television for women) movie...ever.
What's that you say? Hilary Swank and Mark-Paul Gosselaar (of Saved by the Bell fame), not to mention Jenna von Oy (Six from Blossom), are a part of this all-star cast.

Don't worry - we'll have a viewing party to watch this undeniably fantabulous movie!

Blargh

I hate SCHOOOOL! At least it's a Monday, which means it's Laguna Beach day. Save me, Laguna Beach...save us all.

home is where...

after two weeks of zigzagging across the country, i am once again reminded that pdx-town cannot be beat.

sorry to take annie from you guys, but i'm guessing after the whole tapeworm thing that maybe she wasn't so "cute" after all... right.

so, get ready ladies of sellwood, there's a big dinner party coming your way. let us know what you like to eat.

Contemplating plastic surgery

Antonio just informed me that, aside from a broken collar bone and a shattered wrist, the Soap Box Derby racer we were worried about is okay. His spill was the worst I've ever seen. I'm now considering permanently attaching my bike helmet to my head. The bystander that was hit by the derby car probably wishes she had a perma-helmet. Actually, I think she might have broken one or both of her legs. Yikes.

Annie's ours!

I have a solution to your problem, Court. You say you have loads of time on your hands...I suggest you mastermind a plan to keep Annie!! I think I may also become dependent on that cat, too (and she's going to be GONE by the time I get back - tear tear).

PS - Minnesota is fantastic! The weather is absolutely perfect and I even managed an 18 mile bike ride (which is big-time for me, since I really don't ride a bike all that often). I went to the Minnesota Science Museum and watched a movie about Bears. Best-Vacation-Ever. Fingers crossed: I hope to spend the rest of my Minnesota time at the Mall of America (maybe they should build a Mall of America instead of a Wal-Mart in Sellwood). j/k!

Slacker's agenda

9:32: Wake up to the incessant pounding (see previous post) of what I fear might be the construction of Sellwood Walmart.

9:35: Check email.

9:45: Brew Stumptown coffee. Eat bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

9:50: Play with Kristi's cat Annie/try not to become dependent upon her presence (she leaves Wednesday or Thursday - sob!)

10:00: Watch The Daily Show.

10:30: Surf internet/pretend not pay attention to Dawson's Creek (there was nothing else on . . . really!)

10:55: Write emails.

11:00: Check to see if friends have responded . . . nope.

11:02: Check to see if friends have responded . . . nope.

11:04: Check to see if friends have responded . . . nope.

11:05: Surf internet attempting to find out if PDX Soapbox Derby racer we saw take the nastiest spill EVER is alive/not paralyzed . . . to no avail.

11:15: Again reminded to always wear helmet.

11:16: Leave birthday message for Beth. Happy Birthday Brookie!

Okay, I'll stop. Having a week off is really great though. If you're concerned about what I have planned for the rest of the day, it involves Harry Potter, a fake BLT (as in faux bacon), and an unshowered me. Uh oh, Full House is on. Gross. Time to bust out the H.P.

Wait, Annie wants to say something: bhjjiuh (not a big fan of the typing).

I lived!

Even though the mechanics went on strike the night before my flight, I lived!!! And I somehow ended up in first-class. It's really the ONLY way to travel. They give you tons of booze and a full meal, with delicious cholocate cake - plus, everything is served on real plates. It's not all a myth!! Ahhh...if only I had first class tickets on the way back to Portland...

Nice knowing you...

So, tomorrow I am leaving to go to Minneapolis...my beloved home. I'm traveling with Northwest Airlines. Normally not a big deal (it's actually kind of nice, since they have a direct flights from Portland). However, their mechanics are going on strike TODAY. That's right. No mechanics. According to NWA, the flights will resume. Um, is it just me, or am I going to die?

Oh, to be in THAT classroom

Last night, John Irving (who I love) was a guest on The Daily Show. And apparently, he was a student of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (who I love even MORE) at the University of Iowa. You can watch it here (not John Irving being a student of Kurt Vonnegut, but Irving's interview on The Daily Show where he mentions being Vonnegut's mentoree and how he almost killed him):

Okay, that was my plug for two of my favorites . . . Actually, that was a plug for three of my favorites because I LOVE, love Jon Stewart.

I would now like to rant about my Mac computer refusing to allow me to add normal links to my post: My Mac computer is refusing to allow me to add links to my post!!!

Cell phones are the new making out

What is it about concerts that make people so annoying? I can't remember how many times I've gone to shows, only to have an uber annoying couple make out the entire time. However, I actually think the making out is LESS annoying (to a certain degree) than cell phones. Last night, I went to a show, and this guy sitting in front of us would NOT GET OFF HIS PHONE. He must have been mighty proud of his fancy phone, but he spent the entire time taking pictures, videos, calling and texting people. I was VERY tempted to slap his hand, causing his precious phone to crash to the concrete. Then I would have danced on the little pieces (to the beat, of course).

Move over Ligers, here comes the Blab!

When I was in Sonoma with my parents, we visited a winery called B.R. Cohn. The owner used to manage (still manages?) the Doobie Brothers. But I'm getting off track because all I REALLY cared about at this wine tasting was Bruce Cohn's dog Moose.

Moose is SO cute! According to the server, he is a mix between a Bulldog and a Lab, so they call him a Blab. I thought he resembled a bull, but my stepmom thought he looked more like a slug. Moose decided to plop down on our feet to get our attention, and if you stopped rubbing his belly, he would stand up and paw your leg. Moose is so popular at this winery that they dedicated a wine to him, and part of the proceeds go to a local no-kill animal shelter. There is even a Moose fan club.

As soon as I got home, I researched my favorite new "breed." I guess some refer to them as Bulladors, and their existence tends to result from doggie love "accidents." However, the dogs at the above link do not look to be quite as well fed as Moose, maybe it's a Blab thing.

When I grow up, I want a Blab.

Coffee: Yea or Nay?

As I sit here thinking, should I or shouldn't I get coffee this morning, MSN comes to the rescue with this article. I like to be healthy, so coffee it is. You suckers who aren't drinking it are probably gonna die. Sorry, but this is an ARTICLE...on the INTERNET...so it's most likely 100% right.

Solitaire Dreamin'

Have you ever spent so much time doing something that you started to dream about it? Like the time I was really into Tetris (I can't believe I wrote "the time I was really into Tetris," but wait, this gets worse), I started having dreams where I would be playing Tetris. This past weekend, I played a lot of Super Mario Brothers 3 (possibly the best game ever) and started dreaming about it. However, the lamest I've ever been was when I was really into Solitaire. So into Solitaire that I once beat it in 62 seconds (my claim to fame). But somehow, I don't think I've ever had such loser dreams as when I dreamt about playing Solitaire (unless you consider my dream of opening a jar of peanut butter to be worse).

Why my dad is awesome

Every time I go on vacation with my family, my dad manages to say something hilariously ridiculous that he's never able to live down (i.e. being permanently dubbed "the matriarch" of the family after accidently referring to himself as such in an attempt to dominate a card game five years ago).

This last weekend, my parents took me to wine country in Sonoma County, Cali, and before my dad was under the influence of multiple wine tastings, we stopped by my grandma's house for lunch. As soon as he walked in the door, he said, "Just listen to how good that smells!"

Now I know where I get it. At least I can blame it on genes.

Violent Femmes: first concert...ever.

Yes...I am pleased to announce that I got to re-experience my first-ever concert. As a 10th grader, I was a "big shot" and attended a Violent Femmes concert at the University of Minnesota (otherwise known as "The U" to those familiar with Minnesota coolness).

Some differences between the Bite of Oregon and The U's Violent Femmes show:
1) Bite had food and beer for sale (to be true, there were a lot of random plastic cups lying around at The U's show).
2) Bite was much more tame - at The U, at least 3 people were taking away to hopitals, due to glass bottles being thrown, crowd surfing (crowd surfing at a Violent Femmes show? Yep) and other drunken tomfoolery.
3) Bite had a MUCH better opening act (in the Decemberists). I can't remember who opened for the VF at The U, but I think my ears are still bleeding.

Why Tony is awesome

Not only can he name EVERY character on "Blossom," but he can also name the actors who play their character. No lie.

Is it just me...

or is it like 5 degrees out? NOT complaining, since I like a little cooler weather (sure beats 90+ degrees). But, I distinctly heard the weather report claim it would be 85 degrees today. I remember this time last year (at the Bite of Oregon), I was mega-hot and sweaty, even at 10:00 at night.

Lottery Update

I've just found out that I've won $11 dollars with my Powerball tickets. I'm freaking RICH!!!

What's that you say? NOW you want to be friends? No way...the rich and powerful (like myself) can only be too careful with the people they associate with.

Blame Sprawl-mart.

So I woke up for the third morning in a row to the lovely incessant pounding of construction somewhere in the Sellwood vicinity. It began around 7:00 a.m. (yes, I am still sleeping at seven and would not be waking up until AT LEAST eight if it were not for the racket) and was still going on when I left the house at 9:30 (enter comments regarding Courtney’s inability to get to work before 10:00). And it doesn’t sound like normal residential construction because it’s one extremely loud BANG over and over about every four seconds. Even Kristi’s cat Annie couldn’t get used to the disturbance and kept flinching and staring out the window for about the first hour. I could tell she was annoyed too.

My fear? What if it’s WALMART?! What if Walmart got the go-ahead to begin construction of the not just regular Walmart, but SUPER Walmart less than a mile away from our house (at the old Goodwill bins site)?! I’m scared. Now, not only will I not be able to sleep because of noise, but my sleep will be fraught with nightmares of our neighborhood’s demise. Many Sellwood residents (Sellwoodians?) and PDXers are not happy, but I don’t know if something like Walmart can be stopped–especially since they’ve already purchased the site. Gross! And there is no way our little Sellwood bridge-structural integrity of 2 out of a possible 100–can withstand SUPER customers.

It’s a slippery slope, kids. Help!

Lotto Let-Down

My co-workers and I had the brilliant plan of winning the Powerball lottery last night (jackpot at $92 million). But some loser in New Mexico (do people really live in New Mexico? Really?) won, foiling our plans.

Now I'm going to have to find a job, like a sucker...

Pow! Wham! Zonks!

My friend, Katie, and I just signed up for some fitness boxing classes. That's right: boxing. That's right: don't mess with us. That's right, we'd totally beat you up with little pity or remorse.

I think I need to get a tattoo now that I'm so tough; I've always liked the heart with "Mom" written in it...or a pretty pretty flower...or a sparkling star...

Just Like Heaven

Score! According to Pitchforkmedia, The Cure is going to come out with a new cd next year. Hopefully, this will mean that The Cure will tour and when they get to the Pacific Northwest, Robert Smith won't cancel, due to "personal problems."

But, as a warning, Pitchfork has been know to be a little shoddy in the journalism department.

Mouth Guards

Warning: this is really dorky.
So, I think I grind my teeth or something while I'm sleeping. After being sent to the dentist by my mother (yes, my mother still sends to the dentist, but only for 1 more month), I am now the proud owner of a mouth guard that I'm supposed to wear at night. But I can't tell if it's not working, or if it's not working because I seem to take it out in the middle of the night in a sleepy daze. I think I'm just going to go with "It Doesn't Work" and never wear it again, thereby avoiding being labled an extreme nerd.

enemy-ster

every once in awhile i decide to swear off friendster because 1) it makes me angry when i see people i hate talking about things that annoy me, and 2) it's just dumb.
but then 2 months later i sign back on and then i have to hate myself because people can see that i've signed on in the past-however-many-days. d'gah! i've lost again to friendster! though seemingly being a sleuthy tool allowing you to anonymously check up on people you hate or secretly love, really it's ..."so chalant"... as we say.

f-ing a.

i'm quitting again.

No Pants Day

My friend, Maggie, emailed me this Web site. Brilliant!

What do you get when you combine two potential suitors, an all ages show, and 3 girls looking to have a good time (all while sitting down of course!)?

PDX POP SPEED DATING!

Do you think you have what it takes to speed date us? If you said yes, you're probably right. You see, we spend more time thinking of entertaining questions than listening to your answers (if we even let you answer). Thus, success = pretty much a given.

Ex: Imagine that we've gone on one date, and it was GLORIOUS. Then, I come over the next day crying because I was evicted from my apartment. "It's not too early to move in together, is it?" You:
A) Allow me to move in with you.
B) Propose
C) Allow me to move in with you and then propose.

Isn't this fun (and easy)?

Ex: We've been dating for one month. I come over and tell you I'm two months pregnant. "But I just KNOW it's yours because I LOVE YOU." You:
A) Agree to raise our love child.
B) Propose AND agree to raise our love child.
C) Propose, agree to raise our love child, and decide to quit your job (you ARE independently wealthy) so that you can be a stay-at-home dad.

So, those are just a few of our favorites. Occasionally, we even allow those we're interviewing . . . er . . . speed dating . . . to ask US a few questions. Here's one of our favs.

Dick (name has been changed to protect anonymity): So I come home from work and tell you that I want to watch Commando. You:
A) Say, "Cool, let's watch."
B) Say, "Cool, you start the movie while I go make you an omelet."
C) Say, "Cool, you start the movie while I go make you an omelet and a bloody mary. Here, why don't you put your feet up."

There you have it folks, there you have it.

Note: This game is also fun with a few "would you still love me if?" questions thrown in the mix.

Speaking of Portland bands...

Courtney brought this to our attention. It's a PDX band that sings one of the best songs in the world. The song is called "Fat Girls on Bicycles" and it can be downloaded by means of the link.

Surprise Guest Redux

So after much speculation, we are now ALL aware of who the mystery guests at the PDX Pop Now Music Fest. For those unaware, the PDX Pop Now fest is basically a weekend-long free music event consisting of Portland bands and hosted by a local venue.
Our theories surrounding the surprise guests included: The Smiths and Elliott Smith. Funny how it didn't pan out...BUT, night one's special guest was The Thermals. Night two: Lifesavahs.
In all, the fest was good times and involved some seriously good people watching. Also, it lead to the creation of the all-time best-ever game: speed dating. More on that later.

Surprise Guest

Anyone care to venture a guess on WHO the surprise guests will be at the PDX Pop Now Music Festival?

I like cereal

I like cereal

I feel like I should explain this pic. Cartoon Network has a show called "Foster's home for Imaginary Friends." While the show is OK, there is one episode featuring this guy (who's name is Cheese). That episode is probably one of the most hilarious thing I've ever watched. I mean, look at this guy - hilarious!!

PS - Like Cheese, I also really like cereal. And chocolate milk.

Whatever, get over it

I know what you're thinking. Please allow me to respond at least!

You: Liz, how can you have a blog? You have got to be the most boring person I know.

Me: Yes, it's true. I'm beyond boring. But, this blog will mostly be about other people (other people I don't actually know) and everyone's mutual dislike of pants.

You: I don't know...I'm still not sold. Wouldn't it get old, blogging about hating pants and all?

Me: NEVER! Pants always have and always will suck big time. But, this blog won't be all about hating pants. Like, did you hear that Sienna Miller might be preggers with Jude Law's baby, even though the cad cheated on her with the nanny?

You: Um...riiiiiight.

Me: Hey. Enough with the attitude. I just am trying to do something we can all enjoy. Don't ruin it for the rest of us.

You: Us?! hahaha There's no one else, beeach!

Me: No? Fine, I'll be in the corner, alone, drinking whiskey.

No Pants!